Burn Baby Burn

I play softball. Last week we had a game. I also have very fair skin. I always have an spf 30 on (it's part of my makeup). Last week I tired a new "pure" sunscreen. Supposedly spf 50.

Now granted I didn,t reapply at the end of the day before the game but that's like spf 80, right? And I wore a hat.

Well, I got pink. Not red, just pink. 2 days later, red. And bumpy. Like my cheeks felt like orange peels. Ewwwww. My naturopath suggests it's a sun rash....perhaps resulting from.....the hormones I'm on.

Ah yes, I vaguely remember reading increased photosensitivity somewhere. Great.

So a full week later, having endured itchy, burning, tight, bumpy and rough, I am now peeling. Aloe vera does shit for this. I actually think it made it worse for a day or so. I am currently in LOVE with Aveeno baby lotion. Only thing that has calmed it all week.

And can I tell you a secret? I absolutely love when my skin is peeling. Something facinates me about flaked off skin. I know, gross. But fun. :)

Counterproductive

I'm not quite sure this is normal. For others. I'm not so sure I know what ovulating without drugs is like. So does it feel like this for everyone?

I have a splitting headache, cramps like it's my period, nausea, my skin is breaking out and I'm a jittery ball of anxiety.

Now granted that the drug causing all of this is actually causing me to ovulate for the first (well technically 3rd) time in 5 years, but how exactly is this conducive to getting me pregnant?

I mean, who feels all sexy covered in zits, feeling like puking with a vice grip on their uterus? Yeah, I soooo want to jump my husband right now.

I mean, really, the great motivating factor in get me horizontal the last couple days is Fertility Friend. Ohhhhh that Fertility Frenemy. The last 2 cycles it's given me a "Good" score on my timed intercourse. Well I've always hated mediocre grades so I figured I can score an "Excellent" (or whatever it gives...obviously I don't know) if we do it every day for the 5 days that FF tracks.

It's all for better marks. And the chance of stickin it to FF.

Don't tell J. ;)

Quite the collection

My mathematician/science-y brain has created the most disgusting of collections.

Pee sticks. OPKs to be exact. I have 16 of them. Up to a week old (gag!).

The thing is I haven't ovulated yet and I feel that I need to keep them all to compare the faintness of the lines until I have a definitive result. They sit on the side if the bathtub. They range from lighter to darker to non-existent to suddenly the darkest yet.

So WTF. Is this happening or is my body stalling? I want to know.


At the very least so I can disinfect the tub.

If you're happy and you know it

I'm WTO (waiting to ovulate) and so I've been peeing on opk sticks for a week now. The lines are marginally stronger everyday so last night I thought I'd break out one of my digital tests.

It said negative.

But what inspired this post is how it says negative. Positive is a smiley face. To me, that means negative should be a frowny face.

Nope. Negative is just a......well I guess it's a blank face. Just a big ol' empty circle. A zero. An egg (which is ironic because it means I don't have one yet). Or it's just a blank face. Which I interpret as unsure. I find it....depressing.

I told J last night. He asked what I wanted it to do. He thought frowny face was....um...too negative.

I disagree. I think it would make it seem sympathetic. Even the plastic little pee receptacle would be agreeing that it is sucky. And really for the price these things cost I'm kinda thinking it should be sympathetic (not some cold blank zero).

J took it a step further. He suggested a frowny face with a tear running down it's cheek. To add to the feeling of sympathy.

I think he's weird. That would definitely be going too far. ;)

Sugar coating

Is there a reason why clomid has to be one of those nasty tasting pills. I mean it's shitty enough that I'm taking it in the first place. Couldn't they make it not taste all bitter and gross the very instant it touches your tongue. Just a little sugar coating. I mean it's not like at the price they cost they can't afford to make them taste like bubble gum or something.

So, in case you missed it (the implication of the above paragraph), I'm back on the clomid. Things are all sorted out with the doc. He didn't call me back right away because he has 12+ patients to call back every evening so he didn't get around to me. Anyway, I talked to him day 3 and he wanted me to fax my charts to him so he could see how things were going. Talked to him yesterday and he's very happy with my results so far.

So game plan is: keep on keepin on. Same dosage, but day 5 to 9 since we didn't make the decision until day 4. Let's try to be a cliche and make the third time the charm. (frig - I've already said that so many times I'm makin' myself sick). ;)

You know it's bad when...

You know it's bad when you catch yourself feeling momentarily jealous of a stranger walking by.

When you see the bulging belly and you get that familiar pang.

Only to look closer and realize that under that umbrella is a middle aged man with a beer belly and nice legs.

Yep. Ths morning I was jealous of the man with a beer gut.

Sigh.

Limbo

Okay. So the doc never called back. So I called this morning. He tends to call around 8:30. So I wait.

Problem is it's day three and that's when he prescribes Clomid to start. So I'm 99% sure it's a no go this month. But I need to know what the plan is.

Stupid thing. I think I upset him last week.

Our last appointment was in December. He gave me a prescription for 2 months of Clomid. Here's where I'm fuzzy. He either said to schedule an appointment at the end of the second month or after the first month if I didn't ovulate. That's where I'm not clear.

I told him I wasn't sure how that would work not knowing when exactly I would ovulate and given that it takes a month or 2 to schedule an appointment with him. He said (and I double checked and J remembers this too) that I could call him when I got a negative pregnancy test and he could fit me in that week. I swear I double checked 'cause, honestly, how many doctors do that (and call you on a Saturday evening to give you results). It seemed too good to be true.

Well last week at the negative end of my second Clomid cycle I called to get a req for a blood HcG. He said sure and to set up an appointment with him through the hospital. I said "Oh, I thought you would set something up last minute since going through the hospital takes a month.". He then sounded upset/annoyed and told me he can't do that and he has too many patients and it would take him too long to arrange things like that for every one of them and I should normally have a follow up every 6 weeks. WHAT!!! That's what I thought in December. That's why I double checked with you!!!

So now I'm screwed. I called the hospital the next day (Thursday) and got an appointment for July 8th. I then had the blood work on Friday and called to let him know. I told him that the appointment I got was for July 8th and asked if that meant that we would have to take a month off. When he called with the bw results we weren't home but he said to call when I got my period to discuss the next steps.

I did call, Tuesday.

He told me he would call me back because he had to check my file.

And nothing. :(